I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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