Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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