I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
