Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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