that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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