the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
