honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
