I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize