Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
How external is "for external use only"?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
