awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
