She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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