i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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