Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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