Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
