Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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