This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize