She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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