How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
