she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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