Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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