Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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