It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Randomize
