Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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