i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
