my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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