Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
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They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
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Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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