I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
