My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
