I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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