but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
