Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
