So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I think my moral compass just broke
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
