On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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