So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
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Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
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I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
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