We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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