marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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