with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
