Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
