He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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