He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Randomize
