Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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