the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
