Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I think a kid would responsible me up
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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