I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Do vagina's smell?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
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