I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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