this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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