It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
