the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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