Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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