tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
