I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
