next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
