google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
