even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Welp...herpes.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
