I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize