I have demons in me.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
