me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Randomize
