I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
