Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize