Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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