how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
