i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
