I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize