Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
