is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
