I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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