apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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