white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
